Tanya by Brenda Shaughnessy

Author:Brenda Shaughnessy [Shaughnessy, Brenda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2023-03-07T00:00:00+00:00

It was the most romantic thing I’d ever read.

I loved it down to the syntax, to the parataxis.

I studied it obsessively like you would a lover’s pinky’s second knuckle. Those semi-colons.

It was not for some role, it was not for show

not for experience or learning to suppress your wants.

It was NOT what someone else wanted from me it was what I wanted

and that was so new it was life-altering, hallucinogenic.

The drugless derangement, book love, this love. All I wanted was for it to continue.

Woolf killed herself eventually—is that what love did?

But there was Helene, alive, showing us too what love did, how it helps us live.

And live I did for love; I did I lived for lit and for love.

It was Sally not Clarissa I longed to be—when I wasn’t afraid.

Sally—who let the rain ruin borrowed books.

Woolf spoke through Helene when Helene spoke of Woolf,

and worked the ontological question—who was Clarissa? Who was Septimus?

Who were we as bodies and minds?

How can we sleep at night?

Who are we as a species

that we would lose so much to hate and fear and despair

and who are we as people to love each other the way we still do?

The way we still yearn to.

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